Here it is Sunday evening and my last Chemotherapy is this
Tuesday and final Radiation treatment is Thursday. Time has certainly passed with amazing speed. As clichéd as it sounds, it feels like last
week I first reported in for treatment. The
constant medication may have something to do with my sense of time dilation,
but I really have little sense of passing time.
In all honesty this last week has been difficult. The effects of chemo have been catching up
with me and it's been pretty rough. Even
so, I'd not have it any other way. The
rougher it is, the more I know the treatment is hurting the cancer. That's my motto.
The hardest part of the chemo effects is actually the least
painful. I'm having extreme difficulty
keeping my attention focused and am prone to sudden expected periods of
complete mental exhaustion, but my brain is functional enough to be completely
aware that it's not working properly. If
I were in a happily drugged state of semi-consciousness it might be better, but
I'm fully conscious of the fact my brain isn't working as fast or as nimbly as
it should. It's a very scary experience,
like being in a car going at high speed but realizing the steering wheel isn't
working.
On the plus side, however, my brother has arrived to help
out! He couldn't have come at a better
time because I'm seriously not up to driving currently. But his help and support goes far beyond that. In the last day since his arrival he's fast
becoming my pillar, my foundation, to keep me propped up as I head into the 5th
week of my treatments.
I seriously doubt
I could do this without him.
Todd, I totally posted a lengthy comment about welcoming you to the survivor's club (I had a triple coronary by pass in 2004), but it disappeared into the ether when I tried to post! It was complete with a personal anecdote, too! Ah, well, I'll fill you in next time I see you! But welcome to the survivor's club nevertheless, my friend!
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