Sunday, May 6, 2012

Last week of Chemo and Radiation



Here it is Sunday evening and my last Chemotherapy is this Tuesday and final Radiation treatment is Thursday.  Time has certainly passed with amazing speed.  As clich├ęd as it sounds, it feels like last week I first reported in for treatment.  The constant medication may have something to do with my sense of time dilation, but I really have little sense of passing time.

In all honesty this last week has been difficult.  The effects of chemo have been catching up with me and it's been pretty rough.  Even so, I'd not have it any other way.  The rougher it is, the more I know the treatment is hurting the cancer.  That's my motto.

The hardest part of the chemo effects is actually the least painful.  I'm having extreme difficulty keeping my attention focused and am prone to sudden expected periods of complete mental exhaustion, but my brain is functional enough to be completely aware that it's not working properly.  If I were in a happily drugged state of semi-consciousness it might be better, but I'm fully conscious of the fact my brain isn't working as fast or as nimbly as it should.  It's a very scary experience, like being in a car going at high speed but realizing the steering wheel isn't working.  

On the plus side, however, my brother has arrived to help out!  He couldn't have come at a better time because I'm seriously not up to driving currently.  But his help and support goes far beyond that.  In the last day since his arrival he's fast becoming my pillar, my foundation, to keep me propped up as I head into the 5th week of my treatments. 

 I seriously doubt I could do this without him.

2 comments:

  1. Todd, I totally posted a lengthy comment about welcoming you to the survivor's club (I had a triple coronary by pass in 2004), but it disappeared into the ether when I tried to post! It was complete with a personal anecdote, too! Ah, well, I'll fill you in next time I see you! But welcome to the survivor's club nevertheless, my friend!

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